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"Idgaf if it's 'unladylike.' I'm not a lady, I'm a woman."
"He finished in 8 seconds"
“Sex with a guy lasts like 2 minutes, and the girl never gets pleasure from it. Foreplay is the best part, which is what you do as a lesbian…"
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"I'm moving out and my old roommate stole my forks. I can't wait to never see him again."
“Cheating sex is far and away the best… I’m addicted."
"I'm gonna look like such a country bumpkin!"
"I became a lesbian because of child abuse and molestation when I was 5."
"On my honeymoon, my wife almost let me drown because she thought it was funny."
"I told her she already had one foot in the grave and that hell was really hot!"
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