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"You have more d**k in your personality then you do in your pants"
"I legit knew I loved my bf when he plucked an ingrown hair from my stomach"
"I prank called my ex saying he was on a patients' list to take a STD test because his gf suggested it."
"No... it's been 10 years since we split and I'm married now"
“My daughter was born to Eminem’s ‘The Real Slim Shady'"
"I just walked in on my toddler smearing feces on the floor...."
"I was so hungover I started crying in front of the class I was subbing for"
"My grandparents going at it HAS to be my worst memory ever"
"My balls popped out of my shorts at a costume party"
"I broke their sink when I was having a quickie with their daughter"
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